Dysfunctional cucumber

I was picking the tomatoes from the other side of the fence the other day (my produce apparently prefers the even-more neglected yard of my neighbours to the north) when I happened to glance over at my cucumber bush. I hadn't had one for a while and figured they were done for the season. To my surprise there was a monster one, and it had grown through the fence. It required some careful work with a paring knife to extricate it from the fence and the rosebush.



Still tasted amazing, though the skin was a bit tough so I peeled it. No hard seeds inside or anything!

Dysfuntional knitter.

I knit. I like to knit, it passes the time and I get interesting stuff out of it. I do not, however, identify myself as a Knitter. I don't knit at parties, I don;t knit to make a point. I knit because I like to. Sometimes.

So why was I so offended when I was called a "knitter" with a serious eyeroll? It didn't really make an impact on me at the time, other than to be mildly amused, but it obviously festered enough for me to bring it up in my recent "get this off my chest" email about how boring I am.

Knitting fills a weird need for something I can't quite define. On the surface it makes me feel like one of the cool kids (in the knitting scene, at least. few people would go so far as to call knitting "cool") for possibly the first time in my life. I think it just happens to be *my* knitting community that makes me feel that way but I don't care. It's not like I stray far from the fold.

Knitting lets me create things for a person that doesn't exist. The cute pink sweater in size 2T for the little girls I'll never have and not so secretly covet. The sweater that looks super glam on someone who weighs 110 pounds. I can convince myself that it will look great on me the entire time I'm knitting it, and when it looks like arse in the end, I don't even really care. The boyfriend I secretly want, though I would never in a million years admit it and it's always something I can keep or give away.

So it filled me with great pleasure when it turns out he likes that I knit. Even if he's just saying that because of my hissy fit, which was in general completely unrelated to knitting.

Come on, tell me your secret reasons for knitting...

Hats... finally

Beaumont:


We call them pirates:


Nate: (the back of it anyway - she doesn't want her face all over the innerwebz)

On the other hand...

...sometimes you just have to throw yourself in and hope for the best.  Holding back isn't a good strategy for life and you can't *always* get kicked in the teeth.  Right?

Hat numbers three and four are finished.  The Beaumont Tam looks like arse on me, as did the manly ribbed one (Nate from the Queensland Collection by Jane Ellison).  I gave Nate away to my colleague since it seemed to look good on her and no one else.  I knit it out of Tanis Aran weight in Stormy and it looks great colour-wise, but not style-wise.  Pictures to follow soon, I swear.

Beaumont is up for grabs too, unless I suddenly turn into an elegant french woman with perfect hair.

Random thoughts

If you are bored, you are boring. Find something to do and stop stalking.

Trust is key - in both yourself and him.

Quid pro quo - watch the numbers and try for balance.

Self esteem. You ARE worth is, so have some trust. If it doesn't work out now, something will eventually. This is not your only hope.

"Needing" is openly reaching out and asking for support from a man in a trusting manner, one that assumes that he will do his best. This empowers him. "Neediness," however, is desperately needing support because you don't trust you will get it. It pushes men away and makes them feel rejected and unappreciated.

Initiating sex is good. Men like to know they're wanted.

It is not dysfunctional to be protective of one's heart, and to refrain from giving someone the keys to your soul until you know they can handle the responsibility.

All hats, all the time

I am on a total hat kick. Why? They're fast, compact, you can knit a crazy ass pattern and you only have to do it once... so many reasons.

First was the Koolhaas hat by Jared Flood. This is an awesome pattern and I've been wanting to do it for ages, but the twisted cable stitches was too much for my brain and I didn't really give it a chance. Then I googled "cabling without a cable needle" and tripped across this YouTube video which made it a piece of cake. And I made it out of Sublime Cashmerino Aran which I got at the Purple Purl's inventory sale for the ridiculously low price of $2 a boll. The stuff is gorgeous. (Mental note not to knit anything other than stockinette in black ever again due to my ancient and crappy eyesight. Torture.)


Then I knit Adrian Bazilia's genius hat We Call Them Pirates. The only tough part about this is the fact that the chart is in reverse - the white squares are knit in black and the black are knit in white. Otherwise, simple fairisle and super impressive! (I tried knitting the mittens before but I only knit one. There's a reason I knit my socks two at a a time.) This I made out of Louet Gems sportweight and I remember why I love this yearn so much. Sproingy, well twisted, super soft. And it comes in great colours. I knit the inside band in green just for fun :)

And lastly, another Jared Flood: the Beaumont Beanie (the beanie version in the tam colours, but red and gray, not red and white. I thought the contrast would be better a bit more muted but I may have been wrong.) I'm actually using the yarn called for in the pattern (Classic Elite Fresco), which is a wool/angora blend and sheds bits of fluff up my nose occasionally. I am only a few inches in and still find this rather charming.

This pattern is kicking my ass. In the first two inches or so I've had to rip back three time, the last time all the way to the ribbing. Apparently not only can I not count very well, although I have consistently demonstrated my superiour reading skills I cannot identify that "MC" obviously stands for Main Colour, and that would be the gray, not the red. I tell ya, it made a lot more sense when I figured that out. Riiiiiiiiiip.

Pictures of the last two to follow. My computer is acting like it's a hundred and two and keeps having aneurysms, strokes and other non-productive brain anomalies.

As for my "relationship" I'm currently involved in a battle of wills with myself (yes, another) not to text dude. He's a man and thus a the master of non-communication, but the text balance is falling too heavily on my side so I'm seeing if I can give it a rest, and whether he might pick up the slack. Needless to say I'm not really holding my breath, either for him to do said picking up of the slack, or for me to have the will to resist much longer.

Step off the ledge, my friend, at least for a few days. Auntie Flo is standing right behind you ready to give you a big push.

Random photos

Just to celebrate my technological breakthough.

Look! A fully healed arm. Just a blob of new bone to show where the break started.


Texture. Koolhaas hat, FLS socks and Malabrigo tea cosy.


Too much?

Stairs

Picture 013
Originally uploaded by TOmomma

What happens if I blog it via Flickr? Nothing good, I suspect. I shall have to go back to something else...Well it does seem to work if I only want one picture in my post.

HA! (Caftan porn, for your viewing pleasure.) It worked! Now all I have to do it keep my ancient computer from imploding and we're back in business.