Thursday, November 26, 2009

my mastercard moment

Number of times i thought about jumping to my doom: 2
Number of times i should have thought about it: at least 3
Speed at which a hefty body falls to the ground: amazingly fast and involves math i am incapable of while medicated
Force at which upper arm hits crossbar on the way down: unspeakable
Number of thought that went through my mind in the execution of this fall: 2
Number of attempts required to repair shattered arm: 2
Place i arrived when i woke up from the second attempt: heaven
Number of staples required for said repair: 25 (i think)

Number of people dependent on me: 2

My social safety net: priceless

Hindsight: 20:20


Saturday, November 14, 2009

Just because...

Today warrants a blog post, fueled by hormones and people's general stupidity.

Just because I'm a knitter it doesn't mean I'm old. I just am old. Ditto on being a dork.

Just because I'm a knitter it doesn't mean I'm going to be ultra patient waiting 6 months for you to ship me something. I pay for it, I want it.

Just because I'm a knitter it doesn't mean I'm willing to knit acrylic crap for the love of it.

Just because I'm a knitter it doesn't mean I'm going to knit you stuff.

Just because I'm a knitter it doesn't mean I'm psychic and can divine what was in the mind of the arithmetically-challenged crack whore who wrote that pattern, abusing cut and paste like it was crystal meth.

Just because I'm a knitter it doesn't mean you can not return my phone calls about said acrylic piece of crap and it's delusional pattern.

Just because I'm a knitter it doesn't mean I have lots of free time.

Just because I'm a knitter it doesn't mean I'm patient.

Just because I'm a knitter and you're a knitter it doesn't mean that we have to like each other.

Just because I'm a knitter it doesn't mean I have to love everything I knit.

Just because I'm a knitter it doesn't mean I have to look good in the things I knit.

Just because I'm a knitter it doesn't mean I have to want to knit all the time. I sew too, you know.

Now back to our regularly scheduled radio silence.