Holy mofo mother of christ. Now I remember why I drink.
Ah, a peaceful Saturday with the boys. The Wilkinson Fun Fair, complete with cauliflower (more commonly know as candy floss), lollipops, cookies, more candy and pretzels, for nutritional balance.
No lunch of any substance. Nachos for dinner (wow, I'm earning my perfect mom badge today!) lime sherbet for dessert and 60 minutes of Batman cartoons. Unsurprisingly, this was followed by an hour of total chaos, which I gave up any attempt to control. I eventually went up to survey the damage and found Calvin's blind ripped from the window and the kids half undressed, both in Calvin's bed.
I lost it. Shrieked and yelled to absolutely no avail. Took a deep breath and reverted to annoying, sanctimonious mom.
I hate the sound of myself talking like that. Respect, unacceptable. If I never hear those words again my life will be complete. Unfortunately, they are the only things that work. Yelling, smacking (oh yeah, in my weaker moments I experiment with corporal punishment, but unfortunately it doesn't work at all though I find it disturbingly satisfying), stomping... all just things my kids throw back at me when they are angry. Calm mummy made Jack tidy his room (since he seemed to have energy to burn) then we had lecture 16B on respect, not wrecking the place and unacceptable behaviour, culminating in the banning of movie night from our house. While my words don't seem to provoke a dramatic reaction, at least they calm down and go to bed. Repeated said lecture to Calvin, adding Annex A - you're the older brother set a good example you should know better I could cheerfully choke you and leave you out for the raccoons...OK, maybe not that part.
Silence. Blessed silence. I'm having a glass of wine. Or two. Fuck it - it's Saturday night.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Super mummy
Super mummy: 1Silly putty: 0
30 minutes of my life I'll never get back, but Batman's cape is once more pristine. Gratitude? Zero.
Got my Tanis Green Label for my February Lady-who-looks-like-a-Viking Sweater. Lurve this stuff. My pics of the yarn suck so I shall wait until tomorrow and try for some daylight. Of course I left the pattern at work!
Oh and yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! on the unmentionable subject. Colour me relieved and delighted.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Positive things
Calvin passed swimming! Talk about a gift. I think I'll sign him up for semiprivate Ultra 3 since he doesn't seem to learn anything in regular classes. The first go-round was fabulous - we had an awesome teacher with some maturity who demanded respect like a regular teacher. This was perfect for C. He go over his pathological fear of getting his face wet and it was the best intro to swimming lessons ever. However for both subsequent rounds of Ultra 2 he's had the same teenage girl and spent the entire time horsing around with Ben, who is a terrible influence. I was not pleased to have her a second time, but due to my colossal eff-up I had no choice. Semi private is twice the price but will be worth is as now he has to actually learn to swim properly. Jack? Enrolled in Horseplay 2? I cannot imagine he'll get to Preschool 3 and even if he does I'm going to redo Ultra 2. He's a maniac and thinks he can swim.
Ravelry. How did people function before the internet? I think the information sharing that occurs over the web is the best part about it. Me and my trusty knitting machine have benefited immeasurably from the wealth of resources. The MK board on Ravelry is awesome. The people are so knowledgeable, everyone seems to have dealt with the issues before and there is so much generosity and willingness to share information. I have yet to see a snarky post saying "check before you post" on those boards. Just a nice gentle link to the previous information. And what information! No service manual could ever impart the collective knowledge of these women. I swear, any conceivable manipulation on any conceivable machine - they've done it. Manuals, punch cards, all freely offered. Problem-solving heaven.
We shall not discuss my recent attempts to knit lace on my machine. Suffice to say it got better when I was not attempting to use the ribber cards to knit lace (moron). And discovered the tension setting went the opposite way than what I thought (7 is tight, not 1 - read the instructions, ding dong). I think I learned better when my short term memory wasn't fried.
The ukulele. Shall I get sucked into attempting to learn another instrument? I am easily swayed. It's small, relatively cheap, comes with a ready-made group to hang with. (Not that that's really a bonus for the non-group loving me, but hey, I could change. Stop laughing.) Plus I could play stuff like Big Rock Candy Mountain and sent the kiddies into paroxysms of ecstasy. (Who am I kidding? They hate my singing. But Calvin loved the uke dude who came to school.) And I could play at Jo's parties. Finally. Instead of getting wasted and pretending I can play the bass.
I love my upside-down, no-purl, eternal Monkey socks. They have been on the needles for ages and cause me no stress at all. I pick them up when I need some light knitting, and aside from the short row heel - done! - I don't have to concentrate more that the tiniest amount. That being said, I got a bit cocky and was not even checking the pattern until I took a good look at them and discovered I had been reversing the SSKs and K2togs for the last few repeats.
Yeah, there might be a little mohair in there. Or angora. Something fluffy.
Not a tragic mistake and an excellent illustration on the difference between left- and right-leaning decreases. I took this pic with my camera resting on my desk to illustrate this and it's awesome! I love the total close-up and SURPRISE - if the camera doesn't wobble, the pic isn't blurry!
(There might be one other potentially positive thing, but I cannot discuss it for fear the fates will kick me in the arse.)
And have you noticed my lack of profanity lately? I'm trying to clean up my potty-mouth a little.
Ravelry. How did people function before the internet? I think the information sharing that occurs over the web is the best part about it. Me and my trusty knitting machine have benefited immeasurably from the wealth of resources. The MK board on Ravelry is awesome. The people are so knowledgeable, everyone seems to have dealt with the issues before and there is so much generosity and willingness to share information. I have yet to see a snarky post saying "check before you post" on those boards. Just a nice gentle link to the previous information. And what information! No service manual could ever impart the collective knowledge of these women. I swear, any conceivable manipulation on any conceivable machine - they've done it. Manuals, punch cards, all freely offered. Problem-solving heaven.
We shall not discuss my recent attempts to knit lace on my machine. Suffice to say it got better when I was not attempting to use the ribber cards to knit lace (moron). And discovered the tension setting went the opposite way than what I thought (7 is tight, not 1 - read the instructions, ding dong). I think I learned better when my short term memory wasn't fried.
The ukulele. Shall I get sucked into attempting to learn another instrument? I am easily swayed. It's small, relatively cheap, comes with a ready-made group to hang with. (Not that that's really a bonus for the non-group loving me, but hey, I could change. Stop laughing.) Plus I could play stuff like Big Rock Candy Mountain and sent the kiddies into paroxysms of ecstasy. (Who am I kidding? They hate my singing. But Calvin loved the uke dude who came to school.) And I could play at Jo's parties. Finally. Instead of getting wasted and pretending I can play the bass.
I love my upside-down, no-purl, eternal Monkey socks. They have been on the needles for ages and cause me no stress at all. I pick them up when I need some light knitting, and aside from the short row heel - done! - I don't have to concentrate more that the tiniest amount. That being said, I got a bit cocky and was not even checking the pattern until I took a good look at them and discovered I had been reversing the SSKs and K2togs for the last few repeats.
Yeah, there might be a little mohair in there. Or angora. Something fluffy.
Not a tragic mistake and an excellent illustration on the difference between left- and right-leaning decreases. I took this pic with my camera resting on my desk to illustrate this and it's awesome! I love the total close-up and SURPRISE - if the camera doesn't wobble, the pic isn't blurry!
(There might be one other potentially positive thing, but I cannot discuss it for fear the fates will kick me in the arse.)
And have you noticed my lack of profanity lately? I'm trying to clean up my potty-mouth a little.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Yum
The stove works! I made brownies and they were divine. Oh, except the bits of non-stick coating from the pan I had to pick off the bottom. Not so good. Time for a new pan.
And this. Representing hope, promise, and all things warm, fuzzy and emotionally damaged:
And look, it's got a little tape measure that comes out its butt. How cute is that?
And this. Representing hope, promise, and all things warm, fuzzy and emotionally damaged:
And look, it's got a little tape measure that comes out its butt. How cute is that?
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Baking
I am pleased to report that I finally got a new stove. Better late than never. It does things I won't be able to figure out I'm sure, and it has the most bizarre setting: a Sabbath Feature - for cooking on the Sabbath and Holidays. So I gather you're not allowed to work on the Sabbath and this allows you to do everything but the cooking, which presumably then happens automatically? Odd because it does have a delay feature and I think it's hysterical that it has a special feature just for that. Go figure. Maybe GE is run by fundamentalists? Regardless, I'm looking forward to using it. Maybe I'll make brownies.
Oh, and I have to say this was the single least painful appliance purchase I have ever made. 10 minutes to buy it and they delivered it when they said they would, cheerfully (especially notable considering my tiny house and the fact that the space was too small for the sticky-outy top part and they got it to fit with narry a scratch AND it's level). LOVE those dudes. Oh, and it was cheap.
Did some baking with Miko and Melinda. Haven't laughed so hard in ages. For them I give you this:
Also - the Alien Head tank is stalled, waiting for me to make a decision on what to do next:
But Miko's poncho is rocking. I strongly suspect this will turn out to fit a midget - then we'll just call it a giant swatch and try again. Why am I knitting this when it's supposed to be her project? Good question. It's because I want it off the needles so I can do MY projects. Purely selfish.
Oh, and I have to say this was the single least painful appliance purchase I have ever made. 10 minutes to buy it and they delivered it when they said they would, cheerfully (especially notable considering my tiny house and the fact that the space was too small for the sticky-outy top part and they got it to fit with narry a scratch AND it's level). LOVE those dudes. Oh, and it was cheap.Did some baking with Miko and Melinda. Haven't laughed so hard in ages. For them I give you this:
Sometimes when I'm crying in the car on my way to work I get a spray of tears on my glasses from my eyelashes, and then when I get to work I have to clean them.Kind of like "Deep Thoughts" by Jack Handey, for anyone who used to watch Kids in the Hall.
Also - the Alien Head tank is stalled, waiting for me to make a decision on what to do next:
But Miko's poncho is rocking. I strongly suspect this will turn out to fit a midget - then we'll just call it a giant swatch and try again. Why am I knitting this when it's supposed to be her project? Good question. It's because I want it off the needles so I can do MY projects. Purely selfish.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Looooooong Weekend
Remember when a long weekend meant something? Lazing on the dock drinking beer and eating corn chips for three days? Road trips somewhere cool? Visiting friends you haven't seen in ages?
Sigh. Now a long weekend is sumpin else. Three days of whining, fighting, and if you're really lucky, chock full of birthday parties. I don't hate it, but it's just not the same. I love not having to rush around but man, it seems so... pointless. We should be DOING something. I guess that's my fault - I should plan something. The kids are getting to the age where it shouldn't be torture. Hopefully.
Speaking of parties, my entire family was banned fom my house during the party due to actual or impending stomach flu. I am NOT inviting that particular guest. I had a large moment of panic and almost managed to sequeeze out a tear when I contemplated being alone in a house full of savages, but then I thought - that will be FIVE less people in my house! Three less grownups! Yay! And of course it was fine. Talk about a confidence builder.
Shall we talk about my social life? No-dick dude has unceremoniously bowed out of the LL race. Thanks for the heads-up dude. Manners are free, you know. And then there's Amy and Jennifer's plan - if dude is even game. We shall see. The bar is currently VERY low.
Fireworks start at 9 tonight. Tomorrow morning should be fun!
Sigh. Now a long weekend is sumpin else. Three days of whining, fighting, and if you're really lucky, chock full of birthday parties. I don't hate it, but it's just not the same. I love not having to rush around but man, it seems so... pointless. We should be DOING something. I guess that's my fault - I should plan something. The kids are getting to the age where it shouldn't be torture. Hopefully.
Speaking of parties, my entire family was banned fom my house during the party due to actual or impending stomach flu. I am NOT inviting that particular guest. I had a large moment of panic and almost managed to sequeeze out a tear when I contemplated being alone in a house full of savages, but then I thought - that will be FIVE less people in my house! Three less grownups! Yay! And of course it was fine. Talk about a confidence builder.
Shall we talk about my social life? No-dick dude has unceremoniously bowed out of the LL race. Thanks for the heads-up dude. Manners are free, you know. And then there's Amy and Jennifer's plan - if dude is even game. We shall see. The bar is currently VERY low.
Fireworks start at 9 tonight. Tomorrow morning should be fun!
Friday, May 15, 2009
Happy Birthday, Calvin
Three days of labour, forceps, vacuum, cesarean... totally worth it. (OK I swore I'd never do it again, but time fades everything.) It's a miracle dude has survived to his 7th birthday with me as a mom- dropped on his head when he was 6 months, left to wheeze like Darth Vader when he had croup, smacked on the head by the sidewalk numerous time... good preparation for having a brother, if nothing else.
Happy birthday, sweetie. I love you more than I ever could have imagined.
Happy birthday, sweetie. I love you more than I ever could have imagined.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
My little Picasso
Actually, he's probably channeling AY Jackson or one of the other group of seven, had he any idea who they were. Anyway, I walked up the stairs today to find this stuck to Calvin's wall:
Watercolour and india ink. The colour's a bit messed up since I foolishly took the pic with his red duvet cover reflecting onto it and then had to colour adjust out the hideous pink cast, but in reality it's gorgeous.
I was floored. Flabbergasted. Maybe it was a fluke but it's a lot nice than anything I've ever done, especially at six (OK, he's seven tomorrow. Semantics). He must have his grandmother's artistic genes.
Watercolour and india ink. The colour's a bit messed up since I foolishly took the pic with his red duvet cover reflecting onto it and then had to colour adjust out the hideous pink cast, but in reality it's gorgeous.
I was floored. Flabbergasted. Maybe it was a fluke but it's a lot nice than anything I've ever done, especially at six (OK, he's seven tomorrow. Semantics). He must have his grandmother's artistic genes.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
JLT Showhouse
My neighbour Amanda volunteers with the Junior League of Toronto and she sent me an invite to the tour of McLean house, which a whole bunch of designers had done up as a fundraiser for JLT. I agreed because it was a good cause, and I thought it might be fun.
It was awesome.
The house itself is great - lots of little nooks and crannies and HUGE. Some rooms were bigger than my entire first floor, but some were just tiny little nooks done up so nicely! The hall downstairs had these fixtures made up of a couple of halogen bulbs shining on a sphere of hanging prisms - it was spectacular. I want to make one.
One room was an homage to Chanel, and it was gorgeous - a dressing room, not very big, in black and white of course, quilted wallpaper - just so simpleand elegant and classy. The main bedroom - surrounded on three sides by huge old windows (imagine how cold it would be in winter!) - was spectacular. I would never leave. But my favourite was the basement - a suite set up as the "secret" lady suite. Very un-ladylike I thought. The walls were brick, the ceiling had all exposed ducts and wiring, but it was all sprayed gray and looked FABULOUS. The floors were polished concrete with a few layers of poly and looked superb. Minimal lighting but it still looked FAB. I am going to do this to my basement. Two loveseats, TV on the wall, wide shelving for toys, fabulous polished floor and a throw rug.
So inspiring. I will never live in a house like that but it gives you so many ideas! I want to put all the contents of my house in a dumpster and start again.
It was awesome.
The house itself is great - lots of little nooks and crannies and HUGE. Some rooms were bigger than my entire first floor, but some were just tiny little nooks done up so nicely! The hall downstairs had these fixtures made up of a couple of halogen bulbs shining on a sphere of hanging prisms - it was spectacular. I want to make one.
One room was an homage to Chanel, and it was gorgeous - a dressing room, not very big, in black and white of course, quilted wallpaper - just so simpleand elegant and classy. The main bedroom - surrounded on three sides by huge old windows (imagine how cold it would be in winter!) - was spectacular. I would never leave. But my favourite was the basement - a suite set up as the "secret" lady suite. Very un-ladylike I thought. The walls were brick, the ceiling had all exposed ducts and wiring, but it was all sprayed gray and looked FABULOUS. The floors were polished concrete with a few layers of poly and looked superb. Minimal lighting but it still looked FAB. I am going to do this to my basement. Two loveseats, TV on the wall, wide shelving for toys, fabulous polished floor and a throw rug.So inspiring. I will never live in a house like that but it gives you so many ideas! I want to put all the contents of my house in a dumpster and start again.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
This takes the cake.
Sigh. Lowering me expectations was an excellent idea, however it appears I didn't lower them enough.
I arranged to met the dude on the corner of P and D and as I'm approaching, I'm saying to myself "No. No. Nooooooooooo." Dude is wearing ratty running shoes and those nylon-y athletic pants with the two white stripes down the sides. I cannot believe it. I tried to find a way to Kineer his shoes/pants but there really is no discreet way when you're inside and need the flash. Weird, very weird too. Some compulsions, crap job, unbelievable aspirations... man. Not a bad guy, but WEIRD.
There's gotta be a better way.
Also - I have no oven to bake birthday cake in. Also - my weed is as dry as the prairie in the summer and not very effective. Too bad - I could have used an out of body experience.
I think this calls for a fig one. And a drink.
I arranged to met the dude on the corner of P and D and as I'm approaching, I'm saying to myself "No. No. Nooooooooooo." Dude is wearing ratty running shoes and those nylon-y athletic pants with the two white stripes down the sides. I cannot believe it. I tried to find a way to Kineer his shoes/pants but there really is no discreet way when you're inside and need the flash. Weird, very weird too. Some compulsions, crap job, unbelievable aspirations... man. Not a bad guy, but WEIRD.
There's gotta be a better way.
Also - I have no oven to bake birthday cake in. Also - my weed is as dry as the prairie in the summer and not very effective. Too bad - I could have used an out of body experience.
I think this calls for a fig one. And a drink.
A little updating
The mundanities of my life have been somewhat neglected lately. I shall rectify this immediately.
1. I am rowing! I joined the Viking rowing team at work. I'm not really a joiner, but when the request for volunteers came through right when I met Tom, it seemed fortuitous. So I joined. Turns out we practice at the Bayside Rowing club, which is right at the bottom of Carlaw, so it could not be more convenient. Also - it is SO fun! Since the people doing it are there because they want to be, everyone is positive and enthusiastic. Also - very hard work, especially upper body and lower back. Let's get Jen the wonder physiotherapist on speed-dial.
Bayside is into "inclusive" rowing, lettting regular public school kids row rather than the other clubs who have teams from Havergill, UCC, etc. They're trying to make the demographic in rowing more representative of the population of Canada, and thus do this fundraising to get inner city, non-wealthy kids into rowing. Good on you, mates. Why should the snotty rich kids have all the fun?
2. I am knitting lace! Reluctantly, and not well. I am doing the Lotus Blossom tank from IK somethingorother, which looks great on the model but I suspect I shall look like I'm wearing a tablecloth. Not fast knitting, either. I've done almost two repeats of the lace (of five or six) and managed to fuck up the first one. It's not brutal so I'm leaving it. Much thanks to LicketyKnits' modifications which might make it look a little less like arse.
3. I am Bonding. Well, I am "helping" (read "micromanaging") Miko as she knits a series of overdue projects at warp speed. Baby blanket, Snake, and Bee for Bea.
I'm getting much better at this, mostly due to my "real" knitting machine which gives much better advice on how to use it. Also - Kay brought my lace carriage with her (we shall not discuss my rage at the effing customs people who opened the box with their box cutters and sliced ALL the lace punchcards) so I am DYING to get it set up and try my hand at lace on the machine. It'll probably be better than lace by my hands... but I have to set it up upstairs, not the basement and I don't have an appropriate table.
4. And last but not least I am running. Two weeks down, an infinite number to go.
1. I am rowing! I joined the Viking rowing team at work. I'm not really a joiner, but when the request for volunteers came through right when I met Tom, it seemed fortuitous. So I joined. Turns out we practice at the Bayside Rowing club, which is right at the bottom of Carlaw, so it could not be more convenient. Also - it is SO fun! Since the people doing it are there because they want to be, everyone is positive and enthusiastic. Also - very hard work, especially upper body and lower back. Let's get Jen the wonder physiotherapist on speed-dial.
Bayside is into "inclusive" rowing, lettting regular public school kids row rather than the other clubs who have teams from Havergill, UCC, etc. They're trying to make the demographic in rowing more representative of the population of Canada, and thus do this fundraising to get inner city, non-wealthy kids into rowing. Good on you, mates. Why should the snotty rich kids have all the fun?
2. I am knitting lace! Reluctantly, and not well. I am doing the Lotus Blossom tank from IK somethingorother, which looks great on the model but I suspect I shall look like I'm wearing a tablecloth. Not fast knitting, either. I've done almost two repeats of the lace (of five or six) and managed to fuck up the first one. It's not brutal so I'm leaving it. Much thanks to LicketyKnits' modifications which might make it look a little less like arse.
3. I am Bonding. Well, I am "helping" (read "micromanaging") Miko as she knits a series of overdue projects at warp speed. Baby blanket, Snake, and Bee for Bea.
I'm getting much better at this, mostly due to my "real" knitting machine which gives much better advice on how to use it. Also - Kay brought my lace carriage with her (we shall not discuss my rage at the effing customs people who opened the box with their box cutters and sliced ALL the lace punchcards) so I am DYING to get it set up and try my hand at lace on the machine. It'll probably be better than lace by my hands... but I have to set it up upstairs, not the basement and I don't have an appropriate table.
4. And last but not least I am running. Two weeks down, an infinite number to go.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Lighten up, Francis.
Does this really warrant a freak-out? It was supposed to be light and funny. Feh
Crazy-cat-lady man is looking better and better. At least he understands me (further tasteless remarks deleted as I might regret it).
So, when you're bored, drop me a line and tell me all the things I should know. Axe-murderer? Live with mummy? Seven wives in the basement? Seven bodies in the basement? Kingpin in Russian mob? Oh yes, Chekov, I've got your number.I will excerpt his long and girly response:
... that was kind of a dark note and it scares me a bit. I'm a vegatarian social activist type ...it's just a little odd to talk about such dark stuff... I would like to know if you are someone who drinks a lot or not because that is something i would not be able to accept in any potential mate, [OK, potential mate?????? We haven't even MET!!!] but have no problem with a friendship with someone who likes to booze it up, it's just not for me. I myself feel strongly that i must live a clean life as an environmentalist...Moralistic twat. Can he really be that bad? I thought the yoga in the profile was a JOKE. Besides, yoga and drinking go so well together.
Crazy-cat-lady man is looking better and better. At least he understands me (further tasteless remarks deleted as I might regret it).
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Hydro rage
I have a bone to pick with the City of Toronto/Toronto Hydro/Electrical Safety Board. Related agencies, right?
I choose to live downtown in my tiny house on my tiny lot with 2 feet of access space between adjacent houses. That being said, must I be punished at every turn for my choice? Can the city not see that there are circumstances where a little freaking flexibility might be in order?
It all started with my insurance company humping my leg over my 60 amp service. It's served me well in the 9 years I've lived there and I've never even blown a fuse. OK, there's the annoying switch you have to throw to choose between the AC or the dryer, but really, how often do I have to do that? Minimal inconvenience. They decided it wasn't good enough. I did have the option of getting a letter from my electrician saying it was OK, but she said with great authority that she'd tried that and never had an insurance company accept it. (In retrospect it probably would have been worth a shot, but I took her advice.) I opted to upgrade to 100 amp service.
Simple, eh? Ha. This involves running a new line from the street, getting a new meter, and getting a new panel. The glory that is Toronto Hydro comes out and does a locator service to tell me where the acceptable locations for the new meter are. (This started in Feb - I called them and after they didn't show in the requisite 5 days called again only to discover they were in the midst of checking every ground plate in the city so no more dogs, or - god forbid - children, would be electrocuted. Waited until mid March and enquired again. Of course now they had no record of my original request so they had to put in a NEW order, did so but went to the wrong address and of course instead of the dude walking two doors up and doing the right house, they send ANOTHER guy out 5 days later. So, 2 months later…) Hydro gives me two options, one of which turns out to be at forehead height at the front of the alley, and the other, on my front porch, is ILLEGAL. WTF? Why does Hydro not know the electrical code? I am truly gobsmacked.
My neighbours and I had discussed the situation and decide the alley was fine as long as it was not at head bonking height. I arrived home yesterday to find it, or course, at head bonking height. After much teeth gnashing, hair pulling and shirt rending, I called the electrician and basically said WTF? Not only is she a master electrician but she must be part therapist as well. I ranted and raved about the stupidity of the entire system and she took it calmly, explained why this was the only option (several times) and commiserated. Turns out getting it on the porch would have been a logistical nightmare, expensive, and they probably wouldn't have approved it anyway.
I got that sick feeling I used to get when I was a kid and had done something colossally stupid and was going to have to fess up, except as a kid I really just tried to weasel out of it (I was an evil child). I have discovered as a grown up it's much better to confess, apologize and see what you can do to make it better. The sick feeling goes away much faster. Still, I had to slink over to the neighbour's and tell them the story. Amanda was SO great. She took one look and said, hey whatever. We live in this part of the city, it's all part of life. I would have had her love children at that point. (Her husband, or her brother who walks down the alley to the basement, might have been less pleased but they are all so lovely I doubt they'll hold a grudge for long).
I haven't even been down to the basement to look. I'm just going to cross my fingers, keep my head down, and hope it gets finished today (yeah, the first electrical panel was defective - only in my world).
Now I just need to finish the porch railing. This weekend, I swear.
Oh, and I have another date. A "dating" date. Chekov, meet Natasha.
I choose to live downtown in my tiny house on my tiny lot with 2 feet of access space between adjacent houses. That being said, must I be punished at every turn for my choice? Can the city not see that there are circumstances where a little freaking flexibility might be in order?
It all started with my insurance company humping my leg over my 60 amp service. It's served me well in the 9 years I've lived there and I've never even blown a fuse. OK, there's the annoying switch you have to throw to choose between the AC or the dryer, but really, how often do I have to do that? Minimal inconvenience. They decided it wasn't good enough. I did have the option of getting a letter from my electrician saying it was OK, but she said with great authority that she'd tried that and never had an insurance company accept it. (In retrospect it probably would have been worth a shot, but I took her advice.) I opted to upgrade to 100 amp service.
Simple, eh? Ha. This involves running a new line from the street, getting a new meter, and getting a new panel. The glory that is Toronto Hydro comes out and does a locator service to tell me where the acceptable locations for the new meter are. (This started in Feb - I called them and after they didn't show in the requisite 5 days called again only to discover they were in the midst of checking every ground plate in the city so no more dogs, or - god forbid - children, would be electrocuted. Waited until mid March and enquired again. Of course now they had no record of my original request so they had to put in a NEW order, did so but went to the wrong address and of course instead of the dude walking two doors up and doing the right house, they send ANOTHER guy out 5 days later. So, 2 months later…) Hydro gives me two options, one of which turns out to be at forehead height at the front of the alley, and the other, on my front porch, is ILLEGAL. WTF? Why does Hydro not know the electrical code? I am truly gobsmacked.
My neighbours and I had discussed the situation and decide the alley was fine as long as it was not at head bonking height. I arrived home yesterday to find it, or course, at head bonking height. After much teeth gnashing, hair pulling and shirt rending, I called the electrician and basically said WTF? Not only is she a master electrician but she must be part therapist as well. I ranted and raved about the stupidity of the entire system and she took it calmly, explained why this was the only option (several times) and commiserated. Turns out getting it on the porch would have been a logistical nightmare, expensive, and they probably wouldn't have approved it anyway.
I got that sick feeling I used to get when I was a kid and had done something colossally stupid and was going to have to fess up, except as a kid I really just tried to weasel out of it (I was an evil child). I have discovered as a grown up it's much better to confess, apologize and see what you can do to make it better. The sick feeling goes away much faster. Still, I had to slink over to the neighbour's and tell them the story. Amanda was SO great. She took one look and said, hey whatever. We live in this part of the city, it's all part of life. I would have had her love children at that point. (Her husband, or her brother who walks down the alley to the basement, might have been less pleased but they are all so lovely I doubt they'll hold a grudge for long).
I haven't even been down to the basement to look. I'm just going to cross my fingers, keep my head down, and hope it gets finished today (yeah, the first electrical panel was defective - only in my world).
Now I just need to finish the porch railing. This weekend, I swear.
Oh, and I have another date. A "dating" date. Chekov, meet Natasha.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
P is for Naive
I was going to say postmortem, but it's not even worth it. I think I would be capable of missing the subtext if it was written 20 feet high on a billboard. You want to do it again, but in a month or so???? I don't think so.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not sad or disappointed or anything like that, so condolences or pitying looks are certainly not required. Mutual fun was had by all. I'm just... resigned. Oh, and constantly amazed by what men consider "fit". Har. They sure don't have any self-image problems, do they? I'll see your beer belly and raise you a C-section and two breast-fed babies.
BTW? Small dick. Very.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not sad or disappointed or anything like that, so condolences or pitying looks are certainly not required. Mutual fun was had by all. I'm just... resigned. Oh, and constantly amazed by what men consider "fit". Har. They sure don't have any self-image problems, do they? I'll see your beer belly and raise you a C-section and two breast-fed babies.
BTW? Small dick. Very.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Unfortunately....
I'm doing what Mimi did - googled myself preceded by the word "unfortunately". Hilarious:
I could talk about knitting, but it all seems so lame when Ize haz a fire in my loins. As Sandra says, knitting is what I do when I have nothing else to do, not because I want to do it all the time. Here we go... Don't get me wrong, I love knitting and it's brought meaning into my dry and barren life recently. I will never give it up or forsake it for say, bunko, but man...sex? ANY day. In a flipping heartbeat.
Now go away, I'm going to knit.
- Unfortunately, Lise finds herself falling for Cam harder than ever. Lise is supposed to teach Cam to dance, but can she teach him to love?
- Lise welcomes all queries but please note that while you are welcome to contact us, unfortunately Lise cannot give specific advice without seeing your animal.
- Unfortunately, Lise's mother wants her daughter to marry a wealthy marquis, portrayed by a priceless and elegant Scott Vannan, who used to dance with the Irish National Ballet.
- Unfortunately, Lise's mother was fired from her own job, as she had to take considerable time away from it to tend her injured daughter.
I could talk about knitting, but it all seems so lame when Ize haz a fire in my loins. As Sandra says, knitting is what I do when I have nothing else to do, not because I want to do it all the time. Here we go... Don't get me wrong, I love knitting and it's brought meaning into my dry and barren life recently. I will never give it up or forsake it for say, bunko, but man...sex? ANY day. In a flipping heartbeat.
Now go away, I'm going to knit.
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