Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Nothing says I love you like booze.

My dear friend Jennifer:

Those cans of drink you left at my house the other day?  The Palm Bay Ruby Grapefruit Sunrise?  The devil's work.  Indeed, they do taste like something totally non-alcoholic.  I sucked haf of one back just now in the space of about 10 seconds before I remembered that they DO have booze in them.

Then I drank another.

It's Jack's birthday today.  Got Lego Batman for the Wii so I am the best mother ever, for now anyway.  And I made a candy cake, again, best idea ever for the kids who's totally sick of cake.  Easy easy birthday, though I did have to reach into my superpower stash and come up with plan B when my child declared his favourite food chicken legs.  What?  I was counting on pizza.  Shit - how do you pull that out of your arse at 5 pm?  Two words: Chalet Suisse.

Now I have a date - yes, on my child's birthday - and I'm already half cut.  Thank you Jenn C.  I blame you totally for whatever transpires.  And no, it's completely unrelated to douchbag.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Weakness

Roller derby.  So fun, yet such a timesucker.  I don't have time to get laid now even if I had the opportunity.  Though doing a good block on Bren Bren was almost as satisfying.  I think I'm born to block.  Jam, not so much.

So I say to myself, at the risk of provoking an aneurysm in those near and dear to me, why not go hang out with a douchbag?  Fun, entertaining, always available (strange how that is now, eh?).  I have resisted the temptation to fill my 14 seconds of free time with a little douchbaggery.  So far.  But I am weak.  I do realize, dear reader, the futility of going down that road again.  I hold out hope, but I know its futile.

Bancroft dude wants to come and visit.  So much for a purely email relationship.  I doubt this will go anywhere but I am not prepared to have a long distance, subsidized by me relationship.  Unless he's really worth it :D  I got low standards, what can I say?