Friday, March 9, 2012

Big girls don't cry and the five second rule

Stardate 10 Mar 2012;  Alliston

I remember why I have always hated team sports - I can't believe it took this long.

It's the selection process. Not making a team is one thing. Being picked last - that's the kicker. I even read a blog post from a girl who bemoaned the day her coach made them pick teams for a scrimmage and I still didn't make the connection.

Until last practice.

Alliston lineups - they premade lines for the games and we practiced them. I'm on one line. Great. I guess so are a bunch of people, and a couple of people are on two lines. I think I played about half as much as anyone else. WTF?

Now, I have no illusions about my skill level but I'm not awful. Or not the worst, I don't think. And even if I was, don't I deserve equal track time, especially in a practice scrimmage? No, people were coming off the track beat and being sent right back out. W. T. F????

I almost cried. I almost got annoyed and made snarky remarks (OK, I made one to Rosa). Nope I did the me thing and bottled it up inside and pretended it was alllll OK. Don't fucking cry!!! I brooded about this for hours. In bed, at work... I vented to barb and we agreed we were fucked up to still get upset about this shit at our ages but what can you do? Once a loser always a loser. I contemplated emailing the coach and asking what was wrong with me, what I need to work on to get played more, but then I thought... really, you know what your weaknesses are better than anyone. Do you want to seem like you think you're so awesome and should play every line when in reality you think it's a miracle that you actually are playing at all? Not so much.

I went out for lunch, had fried chicken, scalloped potatoes and a ton of chocolate. I spent the afternoon reading some derby blog posts and got some perspective.
a. suck it up. This is your team, bitchiness isn't going to help anyone, least of all yourself.
b. the lineups *should* be fair, but who knows what happens in the heat of the moment - YOU know best how much you've played so say something (nicely) if you want more time. I'm sure there are gals who are dying for a break.

I felt much better. Angst eats me up inside and makes me useless. I gotta have some inner peace.

I got home and there was an email from our coach about the lineups. I'm still only one one line, but so are most people. A few are on two. Whatever. So they're better than you - most people are. Practice more. Look behind you ALL the time. Stay with your team.  Develop a sense of urgency - bust your ass to get that girl then get right back to your line. Practice more. Get lower. Pay attention. Use your head. Get LOWER.
Derby is so totally a mental game. I've helped us win the game 27 times over in my mind. I thought about paying attention to the jammers. The 5 second rule (I love that rule)*. I think it helped a lot and I feel better  But maybe it was the fried chicken and the chocolate.

So what are you going to do? Go out there, play your ass off every jam you get. Be ready to step up when there's a hole in the line. And SAY something if you're not being played enough. She said it was OK. If you don't do this, you get a smack in the face from me and forfit your right to feel an iota of anger about it. If you do and they don't use you? Suck it up, but it might be worth a discussion on you apparent lack of skill. At a later time.

*The rule is, when the opposing jammer leaves the pack: You have five seconds to get your jammer through the pack.
You have been relentless, but something happened and the opposing jammer broke free from the pack. From that second, that “OH-SHIT-SHE-GOT-AWAY!”-moment, that’s when you start counting.: Five…Four…Three…Two…One…and back to BLOCKING THAT JAMMER!
Five. Find your Jammer
Four. Who is holding her hostage?
Three. KEEEEL THEM!
Two. KEEEEL THEM MOOORE!
One. FORGET THEM! Where is the opposing jammer?