One step forward...

So I was recently informed that I had that expression wrong.  In an uncharacteristic show of optimism, I was convinced it was two steps forward, one step back.  Because then at least you're moving in the right direction, right?

Apparently I have it all wrong and it's one step forward, two steps back.  Figures.  Welcome to my life.

Dude and I broke up.  OK, we we never really "going out" but I ended the illusion in my mind that we were, ending months of teeth gnashing, wailing, chest beating, and rending of garments.  Slept like a baby for the first time in months.  Step forward, definitely.  I am woman, hear me dump.

Started this wretched process of innernet dating again.  Is there a more demoralizing, soul-destrying enterprise?  Getting judged, initially, by a couple of crappy photos and some ill-chosen words.  Then in person by someone who may or may not be to your liking.  Bleah.

# - Toothy - 1 had some teeth issues and a serious inability to stand up for himself.  Really?  You come on a date with a friend who overstays his welcome and then you can't ask him to leave, explain the situation, ANYTHING?  Sheesh.  I have more balls than that.

#2 - Crazy Bill - bailed out at the last minute, via email.  Don't blame him as we had the most horrifyingly boring phone conversation, but he could have just said no.  Whatever.  Do they castrate men in this city before they let them date?

#3 - Lawyer dude - short, dumpy, ancient glasses, some weird walking problem.  Fine, all superficialities.  Took me to the Dominion where the music was too loud for any conversation, but insisted on talking anyway.  Every time I spoke, he said he couldn't hear.  Hmph.  And people wonder why i don't talk about myself  With supremely bad manners, I started texting for a diversion (In the bathroom, I might add.  Not to his face.)  I tried J: hanging with toothless.  I tried M:  baked.  So in a fit of desperation and (and longing) I texted dude.

Yeah yeah, bad girl.  I knew he'd be out, I knew he'd be happy to see me.  And he was.  Hung out with him and his friends and it was fun.  Really fun.  I was myself, caustic and un-doormatty, and it was nice to be like that instead of the mousy bitch I was.  Two steps back, but it was worth the serious disapproval of everyone I know.  It's true - he's my crack.  I need a new drug to get over it.

And #3 kissed like a dying fish.  It was G.R.O.S.S.  I actually wiped my mouth in disgust.  Like Cathy says - it's kissing!  If you can't master that, what hope is there for the rest??? 

 I'm though 3 out of 10 and I might have to off myself if things don't improve soon.