2012 - you're my bitch.

Argh, it's been an age.  I've been busy on my other blog, Lifestyles of the Self-deluded and Dysfunctional.  That's over now.  In no uncertain terms.

So let's move on!

Let's talk about next year, 2012.  Oh, it's going to be so amazing!  So much better than this year.

Not that 2011 was all bad - it brought roller derby to my life.  Oh derby, how do I love you?  New friends, new muscles, numerous new injuries, a whole new relationship with my physiotherapist.  It taught me that balance in your life is important, that you are not always right (especially when drunk), and the value of a heartfelt apology.

I kissed a girl and I liked it but it didn't really do anything for me.  More's the pity.  Maybe I need to try harder, or be less drunk.

But 2011 broke my heart.  Not in the way the douchebag 2010 broke my heart (which wasn't really broken, just stunned).  Really broken.  And I'm really hoping it taught me - finally - to listen to that inner voice inside of me.  Not the one I *want* to hear; the one that really is speaking from a place of knowledge.  I want to be able to listen, to be able to accept when it tells me the 411.  Because it knows, it really does, you just have to LISTEN to it.  You have to want to listen if only because it will save you from looking like a pathetic idiot.

Philosophy 101 - the answer to your question lies in the question itself:

Why doesn't that man love me?
That man doesn't love me.

and no matter how much you think it isn't true, thinking it doesn't make it so.

Anyway, 2012 is going to be better.

Better derby.  Games, even.  I live in hope.  I also want to play with my friends again.  Not sure how that will happen but I miss them so.  Less crazy derby partying.  Nuff said about that.

I will date.  I will try.  I will message people and reply - unless they weigh 300 lbs or are ancient, in body or spirit.

I will spend less money on crap.  I will have less money so this will be a given but I gotta try at least.  Less lunches.  More knitting from stash.  Maybe go back to sewing and sell something?  And get paid for it?  Follow up,baby.  You're in charge.

Knock off those 15 lbs and do it fast before they get squatter's rights.  It don't look good on you.

Smile, don't snarl.

Patience.  Patience.  Patience.  Your life isn't even half over, there's lots of time for good things to happen.

Adios 2011, you mechant, mechant, mechant lou.

ps.  how could I forget?  I will get the damn attic done, I SWEAR on the derby rule book.
xo Clammy