Went for drinks, dude likes to talk about himself. We had nothing in common, but I got somewhat drunk and managed to chit chat acceptably well. He just talks about how smart and cheap he is and the car his sister gave him and then he sold and she was pissed and he doesn't know why. Had no interest in derby - just said soccer is a much better sport. Why would girls want to hit each other? dude... I shoulda bailed then.
Then he says lets go get some lamb and cook and make salad and bread and wine and I agreed since it's so much easier, and I was still contemplating fucking him for research purposes. Then we're half way to the store and I say - no I don't want to do dinner. And he says Oh, I was just going to say we have a good vibe - I haven't invited anyone up to my place before (riiiiight - cuz you're a crazy mofo and they all run away first). And he starts grilling me on why I changed my mind etc etc. So I agree to a drink at his place. I'm a pushover.
So we go to his place and he keeps filling my glass up to almost the rim and I'm half in the bag and he tries to teach me to dance and the music was AWFUL. He just listens to stuff from Youtube - no actual music. Black dudes sorta rapping with half naked chicks crawling around on the screen - seriously? And he plays the same few awful songs over and over. The dancing was sorta fun in a completely uncoordinated way. Then he starts going on about what do I want to do for fun and he'll take me anywhere and he will pay and I say no - I want to go see my friends. I only have so much free time and I want to spread it around and he says can I come and I say no (surprise). So by now I just want to get the fuck out but then he kisses me and says there wasn't that good? Which it wasn't - he sorta ate my face too much tongue and teeth and dude - SUBTLETY please - you don't have to ran your tongue down my throat!! So then he tries again to convince me we should do something together and I say no about 20 time and finally I just say I gotta go. And he's obviously pissy.
So I make my escape and he calls me 3 x before I'm 100 yards away and I don't pick up and then he texts me to say:
- you made me feel like sort of a jerk and I kindof liked you
- but sorry please lose my number
- please lose my number as you are fake
Dude - get a grip. not wanting to spend the whole evening with you is not fake.
and he sends texts 4,5 and 6:
- sure please lose my number is that too much asking I know ur kind (?!?!?!! wtf does that mean????)
- no offense good luck
- just lose number please
Oh, and he MADE me wash my hands when we got to his place. He WATCHED me put soap on and said Oh, I guess you do know how to do that. What, WASH????? And when I tried to change the music on his computer he was all - oh I'm a computer guy, you probably can't figure out HOW TO USE YOUTUBE let me help. Dude's obviously been dating driftwood.
So then I went and got even more trashed with my friends. Good times!!!
Oh, and he smokes. Seriously? Did you think I just wouldn't notice???
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