Dude and I had this looooong discussion last night where he unburdened himself of lots of baggage... to what purpose, I'm not sure. To make me understand him? I don't.
Dude needs TIME. God, I've heard that before. I couldn't even bring myself to ask how much time he thinks he might need to decide whether I was worth fitting into his life, which is what it boils down to. He can say he's confused till the cows come home but what dude doesn't just go for what they want if they want it? It all just screams backing away at warp speed. I must be really great in bed.
I am not going though this train wreck again. One day of sobbing into my keyboard is pretty much as much as I can take, and my hair hasn't finished growing back from last time. (Hmmm ...think what a supermodel I'd be if I lost another 50 lbs, though). My bullshit meter is going off like a mad thing. Nobody avoids a relationship because they're worried they'll hurt someone - it happens all the time and people get hurt and move on. C'est la vie. Me invading your space? Being too demanding? All those are reasonable (and probably much more valid) reasons. So man up and say what the problem really is.
Speaking of, you'd think being all (relatively) thin and fit would have made a difference to the quality of my sex/relationship life. Nope. Not. At. All. I find this completely disappointing. I guess before I could have blamed my perennially single status on the size of my ass, but now what? I guess it really is my stellar personality. How depressing. Yes, I like it for it's own sake, because I feel better and my clothes fit better and I'm more comfortable but really - it's not life changing. Which sucks.
I want a Big Mac.
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