Damned innerwebz

Is everyone like this or just me? I had to force myself not to email him all weekend with completely stupid things to say. OK, I lie, I sent one, but then I composed a gazillion more and managed not to send them. Even the one saying my time is important to me and if you're gonna bail do it now.

Internet dating is designed to make you neurotic, paranoid and insecure. It shows whether you are online or not, whether you've read the emails you received, whether you deleted them - all things which are completely unnecessary. So dude is online, has read your email and doesn't respond. Is he talking to someone else? Does he have nothing interesting to say? Does he not want to deal with you? Is every other hot woman on the site sending him Better messages? Is he checking sporadically while watching the TV or making dinner? Who knows? And when they disappear off line as soon as you come on is that because they're trying to avoid you? I don't know! All I know is it fuels my raging paranoia and I have to try my very hardest not to send messages like - Dude? What's up? You didn't respond to my email about the weather 22 minutes ago. Are you fucking someone else?

Yeah.

So anyway, I have been very good. . I know there's a delay in the site showing who's on and who's not. I take that as a good thing. It means I do what I want. I log in for 2 hours, doing laundry or something completely unrelated and trying not to pay attention. I log in for 30 seconds, check my mail and log right back out. It's good to be unpredictable.

But tonight - I'm layin' down the law. Dude will confirm TONIGHT that we are still on. When/if he does so, I will give him my phone # and tell him to CALL should something come up. I should NOT have to rely on checking that stupid site to see if I'm going to be jilted. Of course it would be nice and polite of him to reciprocate, but if he doesn't that's too bad. God forbid something comes up with me, that's his problem.

I have a very baaaaaaaaad feeling about this.

Let's try some optimism, kids! He's got no reason to plan something if he doesn't want to go. It's the internet - he just bails and has no repercussions, so if he really didn't want to go, he would have bailed. End of story. Snap out of it, creeping jesus.