Perspective.

I have entered the seventh circle of hell where my children are concerned. They drive me mad. - Deliberately mouthy, non-listening, uncontrollable monsters. I can't take them anywhere or keep them home and they don't want to do anything I suggest simply because I suggest it. Yeah, yeah, reverse psychology and all those fabulous techniques. Frankly, I just don't have the energy anymore. If anyone calls anyone poo-poo head just one more time...

I put them to bed and sat down to watch some mindless TV. With the Oscars on there was absolutely no selection, so I was just flipping and I came to this program on TVO. Why I make myself watch this stuff I don't know.

It was a documentary on an orphanage in some eastern European country - Romania, maybe? - and it was truly aweful. It wasn't that they were abused particularly or left to lie in a pile of their own shit, but they were so horribly, horribly neglected. No one EVER spoke to them so they didn't learn to talk. DID NOT LEARN TO TALK. They all rocked like they were autistic, but apparently that's normal when you have absolutely no stimulation. They were fed, bathed dressed and left. So many of them just sat in the chair they were put in until the next meal, repeat, repeat, repeat. What kind of a way to live is that? Some of them FORGOT how to walk. How do you forget how to walk??? They would have been much kinder to just give them a big hug and put them to sleep the day they arrived. I absolutely cannot imagine anyone living like that.

Is it so hard? Expensive? They had "social workers' that came and visited who did NOTHING, didn't even speak to them. Frankly, they would have been better off putting them to work - agricultural work, cleaning, ANYTHING just to provide them with a little stimulation.

The workers there weren't unkind, they just didn't care. No feeling that these were children they were carrying around like sticks of furniture. And they were fed, but many of them were literally skin and bones while the workers, in very dramatic contrast, were typically eastern European- large women with meaty arm who looked liked they hadn't skipped a meal in ages. And the kicker? When the woman making the documentary asked the director what she though they they needed most she said. Get this. A computer. Starving, neglected children and she thinks a computer is what they really need.

How about an ounce of compassion, people??? Oh, I forgot. You can't buy that.

I bawled. Life's little fucking miracles my ass. I kissed my kids goodnight and though how terribly, terribly lucky they are to have all the crap they take for granted, materialistic stuff, but more importantly a mom that loves them more than life itself and would do anything to keep them from harm. I want to sell everything I own and send the poor fuckers the money but you know who would end up getting fatter. I would seriously contemplate packing in my life and going over and punching the living daylights out of those people.

I cried for a hour, at least. Snuggled up with my little bunnies this morning made me cry again (although what they hell are they BOTH doing in my bed when they have their own?). And now I look like complete and total crap. I need medication. No wonder everyone in North America is on drugs. It's the only way to deal with this crappy world. Those poor little orphans could use a break from reality, I suspect. Perhaps I'll just set up a fund to pipe high-dose Ambien into their water supply...